"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are".
It has taken close to a year, to lose a little over 20 lbs and I still have 30 to go. I try not to be too hard on myself but it's hard sometimes! I want to look like I used to (even with the C-section scar from my first). I want to wear my old clothes instead of the hippie smock type dresses I wear now. I want to look like the women I see on TV, even if I never actually did.
In my mind, there is something indelibly wrong about my new- after- 2nd -child body. Sometimes it borders on self-loathing (something I'm not proud of but find difficult to control) but today something pretty cool happened.
All of a sudden, I felt a little better about myself, in that moment. I thought, "My body is perfectly made for him". And it's true. While I may be having trouble succumbing to the anxiety of the pressures to lose weight, I have to remember that my body is still in recovery. I don't have the fancy chefs, personal trainers or deadline of a new movie like the mommy starlets of Hollywood. What I have is the desire to eat well, a Kinect for Zumba instead of a personal gym, and TWO really cool kids! I have to remind myself-- "I gave birth, I made a human" and slowly the smile creeps back on my face and reminds me that everything happens in due time and that for right now--my body is perfect, made for my baby, just how it is!