"Put down your bags love
I know in the past love
Has been sort of hard in you
But I see the God in you
I just want to nurture it"
Common and Mary J. Blige, "Come Close to Me"
"Put down your bags love"- what a visual and romantic sentence for something, I've been looking to do for a decade--to put away that baggage!!
I've been looking for a partner to share the journey of life with. By 30, I'm sure we've all had our ups and down romantically and maybe even a divorce (or two!) under our belts. And yet, most of us persistently continue to look for that perfect partner to complete us. The journey begins with loving ourselves, granted, but once I began to conquer that journey, I really do want a partner to share my life with.
I have been married for less than two years and my husband and I have endured some of the most stressful events possible: moving twice, birth of a baby, disharmony between family members, blending of families, planning a wedding, getting married and a home renovation. I will not even write about the financial magnitude of those commitments.
My husband is an opinionated but somewhat quiet man. He is brilliantly gifted but shy and cocky all at the same time, about his intelligence. He chose to open up to me though. He forgets to compliment me sometimes and his humor can border on uncouth at best. He means well though.
Sometimes, like all of us, I have trouble seeing the beauty immediately around me. It is not a "grass is always greener" syndrome but rather a laziness on my part to recognize the beauty around me. It is easy to get caught up in day- to -day activities and forget to polish and love, that which I already have.
So what of the above quote? Does that mean, I've given up on romance in trade of a family? No. It means I keep working on him to express himself to me because I know he sees the god in me. That is a gift I hope everyone gets to experience. He's letting me put down my metaphorical bags and rest with him.
I'm entering some of my paintings in a local juried art show- the cost?... $10 a piece. Finances are tight right now, so I asked him- would you like me to wait until next month to enter?". He answers, "Do whatever you'd like."
"Well, that's the problem," I answer. "I don't know what's best for the family". He looks at me and says, "It's best for the family that you go ahead and enter". It is this kind of support that is new to me. Basically, he was saying that it is better for the family, that I am happy and trying to succeed at my "own thing". A happy mom makes for a happy family.
Now that I know he wants to nurture this and sees the god in me, I'll continue to work on recognizing the god in him and this reciprocation of efforts is part of the inner weavings of cloth of love.
I think I'm lucky that I recognized this today. Enjoy the music and remember to look for the god in you and those around you.